What is happiness? We’ve all had that question at least once in our lives, I hope. And the answers always seem to land somewhere between – “It lies within” or “It’s something you get from doing what makes you happy.”
I’ve been there, and I’ve always disagreed with whatever definitions I get for “being happy”. No words seem enough to portray the moment of anger that spirals inside me when people advise – “Relax, it’s gonna be alright. Just do what makes you happy”. Especially when we’re stuck, breaking our heads to make a choice. Like dude, I don’t even know what I want. How am I supposed to know what makes me happy?
The rant: This same theory goes with the most undiscussed topic in rom-coms – “What is love?” Wait, before you get all tickled and try to answer that. You’re wrong, and I disagree. But that’s for another blog, so…
The main reason behind this blog is my status quo, which points out that I’ve been completely undisciplined about my writing rituals. So this is just an utter evidence for myself to look back and think, “Huh, I did write some days”.
Skip this if you want. But my friends say that the day when I change my mind about life, happiness, or love is the day for revolution. Although revolution in this era mostly happens through people who go viral on Instagram.
What I used to think about happiness?
I believed the reasons that once made you smile would always make you happy. A safe place that people fall back on during tough times. But thinking about something good at the moment, just to escape the pain made me feel like “happiness” was fake.
Sylvia Plath once wrote, “I don’t know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely.” The day I came across this quote, it made me ponder my emotional senses. Especially the line “Feel it completely.” Whatever you go through as a human, feel it completely. And to be honest, most of us (including me, so no offence) live through more average and poor days than great ones.
That’s when I decided: “Happiness is just a moment”. It passes as soon as it hits our bones. We don’t have to hold onto it. Feel it completely, own the facts, and let it go when it moves past your fence.
IK what you’re thinking – “This sounds a bit sad. Maybe she couldn’t find happiness, or she is just broody in general”. Maybe I am, or maybe I see colourful emotions the way Wednesday Addams does. I am always curious why there’s a need for happiness as an inherent quality; after all it’s such a temperamental emotion.
What I understood about real happiness?
Lately, I’ve been trying to focus on the bright curtains more. Uhmm!
I understood that true happiness comes from a sense of contentment. It doesn’t have to be a roar; it can be a whisper that lightens the burden of living. A side glance that makes you believe in possibility. A passing breeze that accompanies your loneliness. A simple gesture that helps you try one more time, to wake up for one more day.
Yes, the emotion is temporary. But the reasons behind it tend to be your lasting reminders for staying excited. And as far as I know, excitement drives everything – from getting out of bed to planning our dream job.
It’s not just what we do; it goes beyond that. Happiness is an attitude we should carry regardless of what we go through, who we’ve become, wherever we are (And no, the city we live in doesn’t matter as much as people make it seem). I have seen, heard, and experienced this culture that makes us believe – if you’re in a posh city, you live a better life. Sure, you might get a lifestyle edge and glamorous Instagram stories that shine in your Highlights. But that doesn’t mean you will lead a happier life there.
To live meaningfully, the place, the things you own, the phase you are in, the way you look, the clothes you prefer, most importantly, your areas of interest – don’t have to be in accordance with popular opinions of “happiness” or what’s “approved” by kids your age. This idea frees you from living by someone else’s standards.
Here is a tip – The road that felt like an adventure two years ago might feel bumpy now. So when you run out of stuff to feel excited about, focus on the small things you’ve ended up enjoying lately amidst your current state of turmoil. Those things might keep changing, but they allow us to celebrate life no matter what. A sneak peak at my small things that I currently hold on to!
Hey, you made it this far! If you’re still expecting this blog would define happiness, that’s sweet – but I don’t know either.
Maybe we’re not bound to find answers for some questions. Maybe they don’t come in a combo (Question & Answer). They just exist. And we get to build our own stories for them. If it feels right to you, then that is the answer for you. Choose to be happy and never stop finding new reasons to be. See you in the next blog…
